All is not what it seems
by Brinosaur
Summary: Merlin is the new kid at Camelot Sixth Form, upon meeting Arthur Pendragon he assumes he is some stuck up rich boy who refuses to talk to the poor looking kid, but how wrong is he? Read to find out
1. Chapter 1

**Forgot to say when I originally posted this but I do not own the TV show Merlin or any of the characters in it - it all belongs to the BBC.**

Chapter 1

"Yes Father" Arthur mumbled, eyes trained on the floor. Uther nodded "In the future I shouldn't have to ask Arthur I expect you to just listen to me and do as you are told, as any good son would" disappointment clear in his voice. "Yes father" Arthur mumbled again.

"Now leave me". Arthur shuffled towards the door as it clicked shut behind him, his strides lengthened and his footfalls got louder as he ran through the house towards his bedroom. He hated the disappointment in his father's voice, why hadn't he tried harder to gain his approval? As Arthur reached his bedroom door he forcefully pushed it open before flinging himself onto the bed, tears leaking out of the corners of his eyes as he did so.

Arthur's home life was not like the majority of people's, firstly he was both emotionally and physically abused by his father as well as not being able to make his own choices life but having them made for him by his overbearing father. He had next to no friends inside and outside of school, one of his only friends was Leon who he had known since he was a young boy and was still allowed to attend the weekly practices at the football club. He often sat alone at lunch, if Leon sat with his other friends. His sister Morgana had moved away when she found out that Igraine (Arthur's mother) wasn't her mother and she was a mistake come about by Uther's affair. She went to live with other half sibling Morgause and barely spoke to Arthur though sometimes she did come down and see him. Well enough background let's get on with the story.

Arthur's P.O.V

I woke up to my alarm clock blaring at me it was 6:30 in the morning too early to be getting up for any sane person. As I pushed myself out of bed I realised that I was still in the clothes I had worn for sixth form yesterday and was not even in the covers. Then I remembered my lovely conversation with my dad the night before and the events that occurred after it. I stumbled over to the bathroom and dragged myself into the shower, as I did this I contemplated on how lonely my life would be today, the only person that ever talked to me in school was Leon and he had other friends to socialise with never mind little old Arthur. Stepping out of the shower I began to get changed as I descended the stairs heading towards the kitchen for breakfast I realised that I had spent a lot longer in the shower than I had originally thought and would have no time to eat. So I grabbed my bag and legged it out of the front door, not even bothering to shout bye to dad; which was sure to have consequences later tonight.

Looking at my timetable as I walked through the sixth form gates, I realised I had a free and nearly kicked myself for being stupid now I had no breakfast for no reason and was likely to get a speech on being a disappointment or get a couple of hits to various parts of my body for not saying goodbye and not being a respectful son. Thought to be fair I completely deserve this because of the pain I have put him through.

As I had nowhere to go for 50 minutes I headed towards the library in hope of some solitude; I may complain about having no-one to talk to the majority of the time but for mornings like this it was something I definitely needed. I worked my way to the back of the library, my usual spot, in the hope that no-one would be sat there and that I could at least try and practice some of the topics for the Business test I had next. Luckily, when I got there there was no-one to be seen, I sat down and pulled the needed books out of my bag. I opened the one on the top of the small pile and gave up hope as soon as looked at the words on the page, there was no way I was going to pass this test which meant more trouble for me at home. I had a good half an hour of silence before, a boy I hadn't seen before popped up from behind one of the bookshelves. He noticed me and sent a friendly grin in my direction, "Hi my names Merlin" he announced with an outstretched hand.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Merlin's P.O.V

I stood there with my hand out in an obvious gesture to shake it, but the blonde before me ignored it. Fine I thought don't bother socialising with the new kid that has slightly scratty clothes you posh git. I stood there a few moments longer before turning on my heel and walking away; if he didn't want to talk I saw no point in staying. I headed towards the front of the library to check out my new book on modern art, as this is what I previously chose to study before having to swap sixth forms due to moving halfway across the country. As I left I bumped into a guy my age with shoulder length dark brown hair that had a natural wave to it, as I did this is sent me flying to the floor and the book flew out of my hands and skidded across the shiny floor of the corridor. A callused hand appeared in my vision and I realised it was the guy offering me a hand up, I grabbed it gratefully and locked eyes with him "Thanks I didn't see you sorry for crashing into you like that" he just chuckled a grin covering his lips "No problem, the names Gwaine, and you are?" I light blush came across my cheeks as I realised I had yet to introduce myself "Oh it's Merlin" after hearing my name Gwaine gave another chuckle. "What?" I questioned rather annoyed that he found my name so funny, I mean yeah it is the name of an ancient sorcerer but that doesn't mean he should laugh about it. "Sorry, I didn't mean it like that it's just there seems to be tons of us here with names from Arthurian Legend. Now we have a Merlin to add to the mix, got pretty much the whole set" At this I had to let out a laugh, how could one sixth form end up with so many children with Arthurian names? "Where are you off now then?" Gwaine questioned, I looked down at my timetable which was clutched in my left hand and read out "Art in Room 176"

"Ah no help there then sorry I am off in the opposite direction Chemistry awaits me, but you can meet us at lunch if you're not meeting anyone else?" I nodded in reply and we set off in different directions down the corridor. I met a couple more people in art and then some more in Creative writing after that; however I met no more of Gwaine's friends which had Arthurian names. I was looking forward towards lunch I half expected to end up sitting on my own but thanks to my run in with Gwaine this morning that was no longer a problem.

As the bell for lunch rang I made my way towards the dining hall, of course being in sixth form you had the option to eat out and go into the city of Camelot however that was the more expensive choice and I couldn't afford that so I really hoped that Gwaine and his friends stayed in at lunch or at least some of them did. "Merlin over here" Gwaine was shouting from across the other side of the hall he was stood with a small group of people, who I assumed were the people he was talking about earlier. Some of them looked up at him in confusion whereas others just muttered under their breath. This made me think he most likely hadn't told them that I was coming to sit with them, which made me slightly nervous what if they didn't want me sitting with them? I slowly made my way over to them, nerves coiling in my gut. "Hey" Gwaine shouted as he slung one of his arms around my shoulders, my knees buckled slightly under the pressure; what I'm weak! "Guys, this is Merlin", at this the entire group smiled and some broke into small chuckles, presumably because I fit the Arthurian name thing they had going on. Gwaine went around the small group giving out introductions there was a girl with long curly brown hair named Gwen, a tall broad shoulder guy called Percival, a skinny lad similar to myself named Mordred as well as Lancelot and Elyan. "Hi" I said as I raised my hand in a small, shy wave. They all grinned back some muttering their own greetings. They turned and headed towards the lunch hall, which I was grateful for I wouldn't need to spend extra money. "So" I started as we sat down "no King Arthur in this group?". Awkward glances were passed around the table and I wondered just what I had said wrong. Gwen began to explain "Well there is an Arthur in the school even has the same last name as the King; Pendragon. However he doesn't hang around with us". I wondered who this guy was did he not get along with them? As if I had spoken out loud my question was answered "There he is" supplied Gwaine while discreetly pointing at the blonde boy I had seen in the library earlier. He was talking to a curly haired boy of a similar height and build to Gwaine "Oh and that is Leon" Gwen added talking about the boy that Arthur was talking to. The fact that Arthur was talking to him and refused to talk to me earlier cemented my idea that he just wouldn't talk to me because of my clothes; so what if I was poorer than him, why should it matter? I decided I didn't like Arthur Pendragon.

Arthur's P.O.V

I looked over towards the table in the middle of the hall which was full with people, including the boy who had offered me his hand this morning. He appeared to be glaring at me, I couldn't understand what I had done to piss him off so much, pretty much everyone in my year, no in – fact the whole sixth form knows I barely speak to anyone but Leon and the teachers. I turned to Leon and realised he had been speaking the hwole time I had been thinking. Sheepishly I ribbed the back of the neck while saying "Sorry, I missed that". He looked over at me and gave me a small smile "Hey its fine it didn't matter that much anyway". I gave a small smile in return before sitting down to eat my lunch, vaguely aware of the pair of blue eyes that every now and then flicked over in my direction.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Arthur's P.O.V

Most people in my school believe I am just quiet and that is the reason I won't talk to them, no one really knows the real not even L eon or my own sister. If I talk to someone I may become friends with them and if I do that I am sure to just let them down. I would just be a disappointment to them like I am to my father and my sister. What sort of son doesn't do as his dad says? What sort of son disrespects his father? What sort of brother takes their dad's side while still believing your sister is right? I am a terrible person who just lets the people around me down and I have no point being in there lives. This is why I stay away from people; well apart from Leon but he kind if insisted I stop being stupid and that he wasn't going to leave me. The new kid (because apparently Merlin is new) seemed to always be looking at me, or well glaring. I couldn't really understand why he didn't like me, I mean yeah I had refused to grab his hand but I don't like meeting new people as they're only someone else to disappoint. I hoped he wouldn't take it too badly, but apparently that didn't work out the way I wanted it to. When I left school I saw I sight I hoped not to see, my dad's car which meant I was in big trouble. I looked around hoping for some kind of escape but then realised none would come as the only person who could help me out was Leon who should be at football practice. Cautiously, I climbed into the car, I knew he wouldn't do anything in front of the school there was a risk people could see and he couldn't risk ruining his image like that.

"Arthur" he grimaced as he pulled off the edge of the curb, the grimace showed me good things were definitely not going to be coming my way tonight. I quietly mumbled "Yes Father?" though that was probably not the best idea, I was soon proven right "Speak up" he snapped. So again I said "Yes Father?" though this time it was louder, loud enough to please his father, though only for a minute. "I am very disappointed with you Arthur" Wow such a change from normal I thought "This morning you left the house without saying goodbye to me, what good son does that? You should respect me all the time and that includes letting me know when you leave and you should definitely say goodbye".

"I'm sorry Father"

"Yes you should be, however sorry doesn't cut it does it now Arthur?

"No Father" I replied glumly knowing what was to come for the night ahead.

"Now would you like to tell me why you did not say goodbye this morning?" This is the part I had dreaded most as my excuse was not a very good one due to my own stupidity, who doesn't read their timetable before rushing out the door thinking they're late? "I got up and… spent longer in the shower than I thought I had" I heard a small grunt of disapproval at this point "when I got downstairs I realised the time and rushed out of the house thinking I was late" here I was interrupted by father. "Thinking you were late?" Crap, I was hoping he wouldn't notice that!

"Well… when I… uhh When I got to school I realised I had a free first period" A glower worked its way onto my father's face. "Well you should know better now shouldn't you Arthur?" I nodded and looked down at my feet.

We pulled into the driveway and the first and only thing father said to me was "Get out and go to your room Arthur", this solidified the feeling I wouldn't be getting any tea tonight. Two hours later my father appeared in my room a thick, black leather belt coiled around his right hand. I sighed in relief I was definitely expecting something worse than the belt, this may seem odd but I could tell from the way he was holding it that he wasn't going to be using the buckle end. As he approached my bed he let out a small whimper, unluckily he heard the sound and as fast as lightning the belt had uncoiled in his hand and cracked across my upper back. I held back the scream I wanted to let loose as I knew the first hit was for making a sound. I am supposed to be quiet and take my punishments like a man. "Well done Arthur" father praised as I held back my scream. He tapped my lower back as a sign to take of my shirt, I was still overcoming the small feeling of happiness that I had felt when he said I had done well; he barely ever compliments me. However I quickly forget about that as the hits of the belt rained down on my back, from the top to the bottom never missing a single spot. After he had finished he had asked me if I knew what I had a done wrong. With tears in my eyes I answered "I disrespected you by not saying goodbye and" a sob escaped from my throat "and being stupid enough to not look at my timetable". He gave a curt nod, turned on his heel and left the room.

I woke up in the morning, once again in the clothes I had worn the previous night, with my back stinging like hell I did not want to go to school today but knew it wouldn't be an option. Wearily, I dragged myself of my bed, checked my timetable so I didn't make the same mistake as yesterday, and walked towards the shower. I made sure to time it as I had Law first lesson and had to say goodbye to dad before I left, and eat breakfast. I hoped today would be a better day than yesterday.

Just a short Authors note, I don't really like these but I would really appreciate it you would review and let me know what you think and if there is anyway I could improve it. :)


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Merlin's P.O.V

I had been at Camelot Sixth Form College for two months now and there was one thing I had yet to figure out; Arthur Pendragon. He was an enigma he only seemed to speak to Leon (I know longer think he ignored me because I am poor, he must have a bigger reason) and none of my new friends seemed to mention him at all. I had finally gathered up enough courage to ask the rest of the group why Arthur kept to himself, as I had yet to work it out on my own. We were all sat round the table eating lunch when I decided to ask, "Guys, do any of you know why Arthur keeps to himself so much?" Glances were passed around the group and several of them landed on Leon, of course I thought surely Leon will know as he is the only one that ever seems to talk to Arthur. Gwaine spoke up first "I think it's because princess" Princess? First time I had Arthur called that. "Is hiding a big secret and that he doesn't want anyone to know so he doesn't talk to people" at this a few of the others scoffed, obviously Gwaine's theory wasn't a well-liked one and was most likely not the truth. "I think it has to do with his father" piped up Gwen, I sent her a questioning glance but it was Leon that answered "His dad is the owner of Camelot industries, probably pressures Arthur into following in his footsteps" though this was said with so much emotion behind it that I knew Gwen was partly right however Leon knew there was more going on. Not that I knew then but even Leon didn't know everything that was happening.

Over the remainder of the year I tried to figure out why Arthur was as quite as he was, it just didn't make sense; surely if he spoke to people they would want to be his friends, he looked kind enough. One day I was in the art rooms finishing of my project when I heard someone in the room next to me, I was positive I was the only one there. I got up and popped my head round the door, what I saw definitely surprised me. Arthur was sat there hand holding on to a paintbrush which was delicately putting pain onto the canvas. His artwork showed a boy, painted in blacks and greys, surrounded by a world of colour. I wondered if this was how Arthur felt that he was this grey boy and the world around him was bright, colourful and loud. I hadn't realised but I had being moving further and further into the room. I bumped into a chair and nearly landed face first on the floor, however strong arms wrapped around my waist and stopped me smashing my face on the floor. "You okay?" questioned Arthur in a small voice, I shakily nodded, I was still shocked that he had caught me. I moved out of his hold and walked towards his painting, he began to look shy again and started rubbing the back of his neck, something he seemed to do often. "I really like the way you have done this it shows the boys emotions and is relatable to some people. "Thanks" he whispered, his eyes now trained on the floor. I didn't think you took art?" I questioned as Arthur wasn't in my art class and as far as I knew he wasn't in the other one either. "No I didn't" he mumbled still facing the floor, "Why not?" at this he just shrugged and turned to look out the window. "Hey Arthur" he looked up at me those bright blue eyes meeting mine for the first time since I had met him, a small shiver ran down my spine they were beautiful. "Do you want to sit with us at lunch; I mean Leon does so you could always join him you don't have to sit on your own" I realised I was starting to ramble due to my nerves. What happened next really surprised me Arthur let out a small laugh before pushing his straw coloured blonde hair out of his eyes and giving a shy nod. I smiled, I really hadn't expected him to accept he seems to enjoy being alone.

Arthur's P.O.V

Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit! Why did I agree? Everyone is going to be looking at me, thinking why I decided to show up. Leon will probably try and figure out why I accepted Merlin's offer and will then question me about it later. Slowly, I walked into the lunch hall I spotted the group of people that Merlin hangs round with. Merlin wasn't there yet which made me even more apprehensive. I headed over to their direction after picking up my lunch as I sat down next Leon they all had looks of shock on their faces. Leon was looking at me with his mouth open slightly, I reached out and tapped his jaw clothes and mumbled "Your catching flies" he just grinned while the others looked on with shock still. I was starting to wonder why surely they should have got over me sitting with them by now it had been around five minutes, however I then thought that no one hear had heard me speak in this group. I gave a small grin then Merlin showed up "Hey everyone, oh hi Arthur I wasn't sure if you would turn up". The shocked looks turned to Merlin and away from me; obviously it hadn't occurred to them who had asked me to join them. "Hey" I mumbled, I knew doing this was a bad idea everyone was going to be looking at me and trying to get me to talk to them. Gwaine seemed to get over his shock next and near enough shouted "Now that princess here" Princess? "Has joined us our round table is complete" The group grinned and broke out in smiles and laughter, every now and then someone would try and include me in the conversation but that didn't work as I only responded when it was Leon. I may as well disappoint them now instead of waiting for them to become friends and then just letting them all down then like I inevitably would. Eventually, they stopped trying to include me in the conversation and only Leon conversed with me. When Leon had finished eating he grabbed my hand and the rest of my lunch and pulled me out of the lunch hall. I turned back as we walked out of the door and saw the group talking to each other no-one realising me and Leon had left. This is how it should be, this way I couldn't disappoint them.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Leon's P.O.V

I couldn't believe it when Arthur sat down next to me at lunch, he never sits with anyone but me but I wasn't alone there was a whole group of people. I couldn't help but smile when the real Arthur shined through after he told me I would catch flies, when he is really being himself he can be rather loud and he likes to crack jokes. However he barely ever shows this side to worried about being a disappointment to others and letting people down. Even I barely see it and I bet his dad never has, in fact I reckon Uther is the reason Arthur is the way he is. I don't know everything but I know Arthur was pressured into picking his GCSE's and A-levels by his father and didn't get to choose what he really wanted to do. Now the subjects he wanted to do become his escape from reality. I know this because he told me this once when I found him painting, though he never tells me what part of reality he is trying to escape from.

Arthur's P.O.V

As Leon dragged me out of the lunch hall I couldn't help but think and hear it comes the Spanish inquisition off Leon. I know he is just worried but sometimes he could lay off a little bit. The way he acts you would think that Leon was my older brother half the time he can be very overprotective and will get in touch with Morgana if he needs to. Which I really hope he doesn't because I don't want father to start abusing Morgana as well she had a hard enough time finding out that she had a different mother to me and that Uther had lied to her for her whole life. "So how come you decided to accept Merlin's offer and sit with us at lunch despite the fact I have been asking you since roughly year 10?" I looked down at my feet feeling slightly guilty, I wasn't entirely sure myself why I had accepted Merlin's offer, I think it was mostly to do with him complimenting my art work, which barely anyone had ever done, mostly to do with the fact that barely anyone had ever seen it because no one knew I painted. Though I didn't say any of this to Leon in answer to his question I just gave him a shrug. He threw me an exasperated look but surprisingly didn't push the subject instead he thrust my leftover lunch into my hands and sat and watched me as I ate it; most likely to make sure I actually ate it.

I didn't have any lessons in the afternoon so I made my home, when I got home father's car was out which meant he was still at work. I breathed a sigh of relief; at least I wouldn't have to deal with him for a couple of hours. I went up to my room and lay back on my bed. I still couldn't believe I had accepted Merlin's offer to sit with his group of friends at lunch. "Arthur" dad shouted up the stairs; wait why is he home so early? He never gets home this early during school days' only on the weekends. Crap, I must be in deep shit if he is shouting me. I wracked my memory trying to remember if I had done something wrong; nothing that I could remember. I got up off my bed and trudged down the stairs though upon seeing my father I straightened my posture, it would only get me into more trouble if he saw me slouching. "Hello father, how was work?" I knew he would be expecting me to ask as it was one of the things he made sure I was to ask him, as it showed respect; or some rubbish like that. I wasn't really listening at the time I just knew that if I didn't do it, it would end up in some kind of punishment whether that be verbal or physical. "Fine" he replied tersely, I was in deep trouble obviously. "Would you care to explain this?" he said as he held out a slightly crumpled, due to his tight grip on it, piece of paper. I took the paper from his hand and skimmed over the writing at the top, turns out it was an email print out of my grades. Grades aren't sent out this early why have the-, wait they only send them out if the kid is failing.

As I read further down the page I saw that I was failing in all my lessons, well not by my standards but definitely by father's. In both Law and German I was scraping through with just a D and I was only doing slightly better in Business and Politics with a C and a B. Father expected A*'s at all times though he would tolerate A's. I looked up at him before glancing down at the paper again. "I uh.." before I could even begin to think of something today his hand came into contact with the side of my face, my mouth fell open in shock; he never hits me in the face, as there is a risk of someone seeing it. "No time for excuses Arthur, you should have tried harder from the start shouldn't you?"

"Yes Father" I replied, meekly.

"Now get out of my sight I don't want to see you again until you decide to stop being a disappointment" suddenly, he stormed out of the room leaving me standing in the hallway clutching the latest reason for my abuse. I ran back up the stairs to my room, why I am I such a disappointment? I killed my mother, I let Morgana leave and break dad's heart, I let my father down at every turn why couldn't I just be normal like everybody else? I slammed open the door to the bathroom and grabbed on to the edge of the sink, my breathing fastened I realised I was having a panic attack. As I looked up at myself in the mirror I barely recognised myself. My face was as white as a sheet, and there was a dark purple streak across my right cheek, where my father had hit me.

I opened the drawer beneath the sink and pulled out a small silver blade. In my current state I wasn't thinking properly so I dragged the small piece of metal across the pale skin of my wrist, I repeated this multiple times until I felt myself calming down. My breathing returned to normal and I glanced down at my wrist to see the damage I had done. On my left wrist lay 4 lines relatively straight, though some tended to bump in places where my hand had been shaking. I grabbed a bandage from the first aid kit and bound the wound, hoping my dad wouldn't find out about it. I had always promised myself that I wouldn't cut as I didn't deserve to relive myself from the pain. However now I can't understand why I had never done it before, it may relieve some of the pain but at the same time I was punishing myself for the things I had done. I walked back to my bed in a daze and soon fell asleep; dad wouldn't want to see me at dinner anyways.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Merlin's P.O.V

I was beginning to get worried about Arthur just three days ago he was beginning to open up and even sat with us and then all of a sudden, he has clammed up again and won't go near anyone; he would barely even talk to Leon. I decided to ask Leon about him as I was worried for some inexplicable reason, I couldn't understand why Arthur interested me so much, I mean I barely even knew him. "Leon" said person spun around before realising it was me that was talking to him

"Oh hey Merlin, what's up?"

"I was just wondering what is up with Arthur he seems to be… well quieter than normal" Leon shot me a worried look "So you have noticed as well" he sounded miserable like he couldn't think of anything that would be able to help his friend. "Yeah, I mean he came and sat with us one day and then the next he would barely talk to you when he seemed to be opening up a bit, it just doesn't seem right". Leon nodded in agreement.

"I tried ringing his sister" Arthur has a sister? "But she refused to come down unless there was proper proof that there is something wrong with him. Don't worry too much though Merlin I am sure I will figure it out soon." I nodded and left though I still didn't feel completely reassured.

Over the next couple of months I noticed that Arthur seemed to be losing weight, the muscle that use to gather on his arms and legs had gotten smaller and he now looked more spindly, his overall frame was smaller as well. I couldn't help but worry about him, what could be happening to him that caused this much weight loss. Leon as worried as well and he told me he was planning on getting in touch with Morgana, Arthur's sister, again.

Leon's P.O.V

"Morgana?" I didn't really want to ring her again but I knew she was definitely my best hope of finding out what was wrong with Arthur, and therefore my best hope of helping him. Arthur only tended to open up to Morgana but it still took him a long time. "Yes Leon?" she sounded fed up with me already I had been on the phone with her for less than ten seconds. "It's about Arthur, again" she sighed heavily, obviously she still didn't believe me about his condition. "What now has he started to listen to dear daddy more and no won't speak to anyone, too good for you all?" she sneered. "No actually" was my terse response, I couldn't understand how Morgana could be so mean about Arthur's situation when she had escaped Uther herself. "What then?" she was getting snappier by the second and I really didn't want this conversation to go on longer than it had to. "Morgana something isn't right, he's lost at least four stone since I last rang you and he now won't even talk to me, and I'm the only person he spoke to in the first place apart from you" by the end of it I was shouting, this time, hopefully, Morgana would get it into her head that something was _seriously_ wrong with Arthur. "He's fine Leon" after hearing this I gave a sigh, why won't she listen to me? "He is just going through a rough patch, probably was refused a new toy by dear old daddy".

"Fine Morgana, I see you're not very worried about your own brother" I scoffed and hung up, I couldn't believe her; why didn't she care about Arthur? There is obviously something wrong with him. I growled low in my throat and stormed out of my room, I was going to see Arthur and try and get it out of him myself.

Arthur's P.O.V

"Arthur" father shouted up the stairs, I was shocked he didn't want to see me until I stopped being a disappointment and I sure as hell still was one, so why is he shouting me? I left my room and walked down the stairs and saw the reason why, as I thought I was still a disappointment but Leon was there so he would have to see me otherwise it would seem suspicious. "Hey dad, hey Leon" I put on a happy face for dad as if I didn't I would probably get punished later, that's if he even wanted to see my face. Leon gave me a slightly shocked look, I couldn't really blame him I probably sounded happier than I had on weeks but it was all an act for dad so I didn't disappoint him further. Father swiftly left without looking at me or acknowledging me, Leon didn't question this but just looked at me expectantly, I turned around and we headed back up the stairs towards my room, I dint expect peace for long surely at some point Leon would begin to question me like he had being trying to for the last couple of weeks. I pulled the sleeves of my shirt down self-consciously I didn't want him to know about the self-inflicted cuts on my arms, luckily he didn't seem to notice. I sat down on the bed and lightly patted the space next to me; offering Leon a seat. He took it and gave me a small smile, "So Arthur" but then he trailed off, I assumed he didn't really know what he wanted to say. I looked up at him through my fringe as he pulled himself together and figured out what he wanted to say. "Arthur, will you please tell me what's wrong, I want to help" his voice broke towards the end of his sentence and he sounded so sincere yet I couldn't bring myself to believe that he actually cared, why would he? I looked up at him and met his worried gaze but I couldn't bring myself to tell him, why not? If I did I wouldn't have to put up with dad anymore, however I would be the biggest disappointment ever and may as well just kill myself for it as it would be more harm I caused to my family, I closed my eyes and let out a huff of air, what do I say?

I was driven away from my thoughts when I heard a loud gasp, I looked up to find Leon looking at my right forearm, shit he had seen the cuts. He looked up at me and opened his mouth before starting to say "Arthur are those cuts?" I couldn't admit to it, I just couldn't so I lied "I fell over and graved my wrist a couple of days ago in the garden path. Hopefully this would be believable as my garden path is gravel chipping, He shot me a disbelieving look "I don't think so Arthur" he reached out and rolled the dark sleeves of my shirt back. Tears made their way down my face as he surveyed the damage I had done to myself. "Oh Arthur, why?" a solitary tear left the side of Leon's eye before I just broke down, I curled up into the foetal position and sobbed. I jumped slightly when Leon's arms reached out and hugged me close to his chest. His hand ran through my hair to try and calm me down; it worked. "Shhh, Arthur it's fine, you're okay". Slowly I began to calm down and wormed my way out of Leon's arms, he grabbed my arms in his "Why?"

"Because" hic "I'm just a big disappointment" I quietly began to sob again.

"Hey look at me, you are NOT a disappointment" I couldn't believe him what does Leon's word mean against every other person I know. "I promise you, Arthur". I looked up and nodded, if I let him think I believed him, he would leave me alone. "Sorry to leave you like this but I really have to go, and you should eat then get some sleep yeah?" I nodded and whispered

"Promise" Leon gave me one last hug before walking out of the room and leaving the house. True to my word I walked down to the kitchen and got out some leftovers of last night's tea, not my favourite but I had promised I would eat. Mindlessly I trailed back to my room and crawled into bed, emotionally exhausted after this afternoon's event.

Leon's P.O.V

I didn't want to break Arthur's trust by telling anyone but I knew it was necessary for him to get better. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and clicked Morgana's number. Holding it up to my ear I listened to the phone calls chime as I waited for her to answer. She _had _to listen this time no way could she ignore this news. "What Leon?" was the polite greeting I received. "It's about Arthur" before I could continue I was interrupted "When is it not?" I chose to ignore her comment and just carried on. "Morgana, I found out today that Arthur well he… he cut's himself" I could hear Morgana beginning to come up with a snide comeback but then she registered what I had said "What he cuts?" Shock and disbelief were clear in her voice.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Morgana's P.O.V

My baby brother cut's himself? I had just got of the phone with Leon and was still having trouble wrapping my head around what I had heard. Why would he do this to himself? I know he always had a bit of trouble with Uther and his self-confidence but surely it wasn't that bad? "Morgause" I shouted through the house not entirely sure where she was. Soon after she descended the stairs "Yes?"

"I have to go and see Arthur" She sneered at the mention of his name

"Why? I thought you said he was just trying to get attention of his dear old dad"

"Well I was wrong wasn't I, he's fucking cutting himself" that soon shut her up and worry flashed across her face, she may have never met Arthur but she still seemed to be interested in him since she was related. This just proved it as she seemed to show some fierce protectiveness over him after hearing the news. "I hope you realise I am coming with you?" I nodded in reply I had guessed once the worry flashed across her face.

We both ran to our rooms and threw the nearest clothes into our bags; we were going to get to Arthur as soon as possible that way we could help him quicker. We ran out to the car and jumped in, Morgause gunned the engine and we roared off down the road. I sent a quick text to Leon 'On our way' before leaning back in my seat and putting my head in my hands, what had I done to Arthur by leaving him on his own?

Leon's P.O.V

After reading Morgana's text I smiled to myself, hopefully Arthur would be better soon though I couldn't help but wonder who she was bringing with her since she had said on _our_ way. It could well be the sister that Arthur had mentioned once or twice, though I didn't think she liked Arthur that much. Anyway, hopefully he will get better soon; I just hope he forgives me for telling Morgana.

Arthur's P.O.V

I woke up a couple of hours later to a loud thumping sound echoing round the house. It took me a few moments to realise it was someone knocking at the front door. Slowly, I made my way down the stairs, I wondered where father had gone as he always opened the door. As I opened it my jaw dropped in shock it was one of the people I least expected to see. Before I could say anything I was wrapped in a hug by my older sister, but what was she doing here? Unless… I glanced at my wrists; Leon must have told her. I wanted to be mad at him but I couldn't bring myself to, he was just worried about me, and he had got Morgana to come and see me; which she hadn't since she left. "Oh Arthur" she sighed identical to Leon only hours earlier. That's when I noticed that it wasn't only Morgana at the door, this other person couldn't be anyone but Morgause, though I couldn't quite understand why she had come; I was sure she didn't like me and I'm positive she is the reason I haven't seen Morgana since she left. She offered me a small smile but obviously felt awkward about being here. Morgana eventually let me go after nearly hugging me to death, she had small tear tracks on her cheeks, reaching out my hands I cupped each side of her face and gently wiped them away with my thumbs. She let out a small laugh and mumbled "It should be me comforting you, should it not?" I nodded slowly and looked down at my feet, guilty that she had had to come all this way to look after me; disappointing people again. I stood aside to let them both in, after shutting the door I followed Morgana and Morgause down the hall towards the living room.

They both sat on the large corner sofa, feeling awkward I tucked myself into my favourite armchair, my arms encircling my legs and holding them close to my chest. "I assume you know why we are here" I nodded, I knew Leon had told her, though I still wasn't sure why Morgause was here; that made no sense. Hopefully, I would get an answer soon. Seeing my confused glance sent her way Morgause keened forward and began to explain herself. "It may seem odd to you Arthur but I do care about you despite never meeting you, I can't help but feel protective of you and Morgana; though you especially. See I never had siblings until I found out about Morgana, but then I found out about you as well. It isn't as strong for Morgana but your younger and from what I've heard don't have the best self-confidence" I blushed slightly at this not expecting Morgana to have told her so much. I shot her a glance but she just gave me an apologetic shrug in response. "So when I heard about well this" she gestured to my arms "I had to come and see if you were okay" I nodded, as at the moments words were failing me.

"Arthur could you show me, please?" Morgana was pleading with me, I didn't want to show her; didn't want to disappoint her. I shook my head as a few tears leaked out of the corners of my eyes, I swapped hugging my legs to my chest to cradling my arms in my lap and pulling my sleeves down over my hands to try and hide it as much as I could. I hadn't noticed her but Morgana had gently grabbed hold of my hand through the shirts sleeves. "You don't need to be afraid Arthur, you can show me okay?" her voice was so soft and kind that I couldn't deny her, she let go of my hand and I slowly rolled up each sleeve. I heard a soft gasp as she saw the scars lining my arms, again just like Leon earlier today. She put her hand my chin and lifted my head till my eyes met hers. "It's going to be okay Arthur" she reassure as she kissed my forehead in a motherly way. I closed my eyes and nodded as a few more tears leaked out; though I didn't believe her.

* * *

Just wanted to say that I have an updating system; I write the chapter and the one after it before uploading the next one so there may be slightly longer waits but hopefully they shouldn't be too long. Also I am in turkey for the next two weeks so updates may be slow or not at all, if I do update it will be from my mobile so there would most likely mistakes.

-Brinosaur


	8. Chapter 8

**Sorry if any of you thought this was a new chapter, I just went back to change some mistakes though Chapter 9 should be up soon :) - 30/09/14**

**Hey Guys I'm back, updates will most likely be slower from now on due to me going back to school on Wednesday. Really grateful to those who reviewed, favourited and followed this story. Though I would love it if more of you would! :)**

**-Brinosaur **

Chapter 8

Morgana's P.O.V

I led Arthur to bed after he showed me his cuts, I could tell he was emotionally drained; from having to talk to both me and Leon about the situation today. I hoped to talk to him some more about it tomorrow as Uther should be at work and it is a Saturday so Arthur didn't need to be at school. Firstly, I went into Arthur's bathroom and removed all the blades I could find, some of which were covered on blood; showing the deed that they had been used for. I may trust him, but at this point in time with this particular thing I honestly wouldn't feel I had done the right thing if I just left them there so he could harm himself again. Morgause and I had decided it probably wasn't the best idea to stay in my old house as Uther would want to know why we were there and I am sure Arthur wouldn't want him to know about the situation. Just as we were about to leave out of the front door, the handle was pushed down and Uther stepped in, pausing in shock like his son had only an hour before. "Morgana?" he whispered, obviously he hadn't expected to see me again.

"Hello Uther" I replied tersely, I really had hoped to avoid contact with him while being here, he may be my father but he doesn't deserve my love after lying to me for all those years. "What are you doing here?" I definitely wasn't going to tell him the real reason so I told him part of the truth, before leaving. "To see Arthur" I huffed out before walking out the door, slamming it in his face as I left.

I had to think of a way for Arthur to let out his feeling in another way but cutting himself. Hopefully, Morgause and I would be able to come up with an idea before he got even worse. I still couldn't believe my baby brother did this to himself. I needed to get him help, but who could I go to. I knew for a fact Arthur wouldn't want to tell me the whole thing; he had issues with people and disappointing them (or at least that's what I think it is. Maybe it would be easier if he had someone to talk to that he hadn't met before or that he didn't know very well. I just need a solution that can help him out of the rut he is stuck in, because no matter how much it is hurting me; it is always going to hurt him so much more.

Arthur's P.O.V

When I heard the front door close, I opened my eyes; no way was I going to be able to sleep tonight. I didn't realise how much this could hurt other people just me being selfish again and therefore disappointing everyone. The look in Morgana's eyes was killing me I could barely look at her, and the fact that it even seemed to hurt Morgause who I had never met in my life and was barely related to, it really made me think of how much I had thought of myself and no one else. Why couldn't I do anything without disappointing people? This made me want to cut even more, but I couldn't because that would hurt people wouldn't it? "Aaarggh why is this so confusing?" I screamed, venting my anger in one of the ways I knew how, my hands reached up and grabbed hold of the blonde locks on my head; and pulled. I kept pulling as tears ran down my face; sobs ripped their way out of my throat as I knelt on the floor slowly breaking down. As I pulled my hands away I saw clumps of my hair in my hands and blood covering my fingertips, I began to feel sick and my vision started to go. I scampered across the floor towards my phone, entering the password before scrolling through my contacts to find Morgana. I waited in pain as I heard rings coming through the speaker "Hello, Arthur?"

"Help me" was all I got out before my vision went black.

Morgana's P.O.V

"Arthur?" I shouted down the phone "Arthur please answer me" I pleaded, what was wrong with him why won't he respond? "Morgause, MORGAUSE" My voice rose as I got more worried "Morgause can you ring a fucking ambulance and send them to Arthur's house right now"

"What why?"

"Don't ask just fucking do it" I snapped as I ran into the hallway and picked up my car keys. I flung myself out of the door and into the car. I got to my old house as fast as possible fearing for Arthur. As I pulled an Ambulance came screaming down the drive, I ran out and banged on the front door. A couple of seconds later Uther opened it, at seeing me confusion flashed over his face however I just ignored him and pushed past waving the paramedics in behind me. I assumed Arthur would be in his room or at least I hoped he was, when I opened the door I gasped in shock this is definitely not what I was expecting. Arthur was sprawled on his bedroom floor with clumps of his golden hair lying around him; blood covered the tips of his fingers and was hidden underneath his nails. His phone was loosely held in his right hand from when he had called me. I came back to myself and noticed that now Arthur was on the stretcher and the paramedics were beginning to take him out of the room. I ran back down to my car and as the ambulance set off I followed it.

When I got to the hospital they were already taking him out of the ambulance and into the entrance of AnE. He was risked through a pair of doors, as I tried to follow a nurse appeared in front of me and held out his arm "I'm sorry miss you can't go through there we will update you on your…"

"Brother he is my brother and I need to see him NOW" I interrupted not wanting to listen to this man, I just wanted to see Arthur. "On your brother's condition, I am sorry but you can't see him yet I will tell you as soon as you can".

After fifteen minutes of waiting and one rather shot rant/phone call to Morgause the male nurse who I had spoken to earlier returned. "Your brother is fine, he had to have some minor surgery" At this my heart stopped he had needed surgery? "To sew some of the deeper gashes on his head back together otherwise he is fine, though we have noticed a lot of cuts on his arm-". Again I cut him off "On his arms yes, I know, I already found out about them. Now when can I seem him" By the end of my sentence I was hissing with impatience why won't they just let me see my baby brother. "Yes of course he's in room 234 on the second floor" He stammered out, obviously I had had an effect on him.

As I walked into the room and saw Arthur lying there on the bed I almost burst into tears, he looked so small and weak against the stark white sheets. Though he was that pale he nearly blended into them I walked over and grabbed his hand while sitting in the seat next to his bed. My thumb drew circles on the back of his hand to comfort me that he was still there more than anything. He had four sets of stitches on his head were his nails had torn though his skin and his head was now fully shaved only tiny little blonde hairs remained. The scars on his arms were covered by his long sleeve t-shirt though I noticed the blood from his hands and under his finger nails had been cleaned off. I let out I sigh "Oh Arthur what have you done?"


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Arthur's P.O.V

Groggily, I opened my eyes only to end up staring at a blinding white ceiling I was vaguely aware of something rubbing circles onto the top of my right hand. Slowly, I turned my head to the right to see Morgana in the chair beside my (hospital?) bed at my movement her head snapped towards me and her eyes filled with relief. "Arthur?" she questioned obviously not believing her eyes, I nodded wearily before reaching up with my other hand to rake it through my hair only to find I had a buzz cut and seemed to have stitches running through my head in multiple places. My eyes snapped back to Morgana's in a panic, what the fuck had happened to me? There was a quick beeping filling the room and the more I panicked the quicker it got, eventually it dawned on me that it was a heart monitor. Morgana grabbed my other hand which I was running over my head repeatedly trying to remember what had happened, what I had done. "Arthur look at me" Morgana ordered in a low voice, it helped to ground me and I looked back into her greeny blue eyes slowly calming down. "Arthur do you remember what happened before you rang me?" I shook my head, I had rung Morgana? Her expression fell, what had I done that had landed me in the hospital, and why had I rang Morgana? "Oh Arthur" slowly she rubbed circles into the back of my hand with her thumbs "I don't know why you did it Arthur but I got a phone call off you yesterday, all you said was help me before you passed out on the other end. I rang an ambulance and sent them to your house before getting in the car and driving there. What I saw when I walked into your room was horrifying Arthur, you scared me so much". I looked down in shame, I had managed to upset someone again; why do I always ruin things for people? "You were just lying on the floor, with clumps of hair around you and blood surrounding your head. They got you into the ambulance and brought you here, were they had to sew up some self-inflicted gashes on your head." I looked up at her shocked at what I had done to myself, but did I not deserve it? Morgana had tear tracks running down her face, I had really scared her.

"Why Arthur, why did you do this?" I just shook my head and held back sobs as tears fell from my eyes and down my cheeks. How can I tell her when I don't even remember what I did? She wrapped her thin arms around my waist and shushed me "Hey it is okay, you don't have to tell me now Arthur". I give her a weak but grateful smile before tucking myself back under the duvet, though I didn't stay under long however as a doctor walked through the door.

Morgana's P.O.V

When the Doctor walked in a let out a small sigh of relief, hopefully he would be able to tell us about Arthur's condition. "Hello Arthur, nice to see you're awake" he didn't look up from the file apart from flashing a quick smile in our general direction. "Do you remember what happened Arthur?" he questioned, my little brother just shook his head slowly before saying "But Morgana told me what happened." He nodded slowly before carrying on with his questions "Do you remember why you did it Arthur?" Again Arthur shook his head as more tears made their way down his face. "Hey it's fine, it is quite usual to not remember traumatic events; the memories may come back or they may not, but it is fine Arthur" I felt a huge amount of gratitude towards him for reassuring Arthur that everything would be okay. "Now onto your injuries; while in surgery we sewed up four gashes that were self-inflicted on your head, while in surgery we also noticed a multitude of scars on you lower arms though these didn't need medical attention as they appeared to be old." At the mention of this Arthur's head ducked down and he continued to stare at his lap for several seconds before looking back up towards the Doctor. "Arthur I know this is very personal, but we really need to know if you self-harm". More tears leaked from his eyes as he gave a slow and hesitant nod, before breaking into heavy sobs, he curled in on himself and began to slowly rock himself back and forth. My heart broke a little more and seeing Arthur so insecure and in such pain, but why? Why does he do this to himself? I just can't get around why he would do it, but I was sure as hell going to help him through it. "Hey, hey it's okay calm down Arthur" while I was thinking the Doctor had walked over to Arthur and was trying to calm him down. He was rubbing his back in small comforting circles while Arthur continued to cry. "It is okay Arthur, we can get you help and you won't have to feel like this ever again" After a couple of minutes Arthur's sobs quietened and he uncurled from his position, he shot me a look before he threw himself towards me and into my arms. I wrapped him up in my arms and rocked his torso back and forth in a comforting manner, not wanting to let him go. How could I have not noticed Arthur was going through this much pain? "Shhh Arthur it's okay, shhh" I wanted to try and reassure him in any way possible, he snuggled closer and let out a short huff, before closing his eyes and slipping back into the land of sleep. "So how can we help him?" I asked the Doctor who was still sat at the end of Arthur's bed. He looks at me with sympathy before saying "Well I think it would be best, for Arthur, to get him to see a therapist so he can be evaluated and put on medicine if he needs it, as well as being able to get help with his problem." I nod in agreement though it is really up to Arthur – I am not going to force him into something he doesn't want to do, if it will only cause him more harm.

Hi guys, sorry for such a long wait. I have been really busy with school since I am in year 11 so updates will be slower - but don't worry it hasn't been abandoned! Even though it annoys me when other people ask could you please review, follow and/or favourite as it really does mean a lot :)

-Brionsaur


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